I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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