real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
