I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
