Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
