Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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