I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
