Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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