So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
