i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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