I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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