It's a beautiful day for a hangover
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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