Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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