I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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