i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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