My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
